Though my work as a clinical psychologist, I often have the privilege of supporting family caregivers as they are on their caregiving journey. One of the things that often comes up in our work together, whether in therapy or though discussion in a caregiving group, is reflecting on how the caregiving process has affected them, the role it has had on their relationships and on their identity, and their need for ongoing self-care.
The need for self care in caregivers can not be understated. Sometimes the challenge many caregivers face is recognizing that it is OK to make the need for self-care a priority, and that it is healthy to make this need a priority. I have elaborated on this topic elsewhere, and I’ll share what I have written and shared in radio interviews should these suggestions be useful.
Acknowledging that these needs ARE important, and taking action on those needs can make a significant difference in the lives of the caregiver which ultimately do impact how they are giving care. Understanding the impact of tough emotions, including guilt. For example, guilt around doing something for yourself that may seem frivolous or take you away from where you feel you are needed. Guilt can keep you feeling stuck and result in hindering how you take care of yourself. So it is important to notice your emotions related to caregiving and the impact that they may be having on so many other things.
I would encourage caregivers to ask themselves these questions, and take the time to answer them. reflect on your answers, perhaps by journaling about them. Consider these questions:
What does self-care look like to me right now?
How can I honor myself and my needs today?
Finally, I invite all who are interested in further reflection and support to take some time for yourself to reflect. For caregivers local to Rye, NY, I will be running a caregiver self-care program on Friday, December 13th at 11am with a warm community of caregivers, and for those in Fairfield County, CT, I will lead a similar program on Wednesday December 18th.
For all caregivers, regardless of where you are, if you are interested, I invite you to listen to these three guided reflections for caregivers and caregiver stress that I have created for the app, Simple Habit.
However you engage in self-care that honors you, may you enjoy and appreciate doing so! Whether it’s now, during National Family Caregiver’s Month (the month we are currently in), or whenever you need.
Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.
Founder, Write. Reflect. Grow.
www.writereflectgrow.com