Seasonally reflecting

For all the reasons this statement rings true for you: the transition into summer is one to hit pause on. Let’s now take a pause.

To me, this transition to summer feels like a call to look inward as we step out to enjoy and savor the season. Summer has this way of altering perspective naturally, as the speed of life shifts a bit.

A question relevant to this blog, and one to reflect on:

How can your journaling practice benefit from this change of pace? If you desire to shift focus in any way or to deepen your practice, now is a great moment to call attention to this and to record it in your journal.

Embrace what this seasonal shift represents to you- modifications in routine, a respite from the rush, changes in the cadence of your work, lounging poolside, or anything else relevant to your life in this season. This shift in pace offers an opportunity to step back and reflect on where you are, your current priorities (and how your actions reflect these priorities), and any adjustments you would like to make as you move into the future.

Seasonally speaking, summer represents a halfway point in the year, which naturally invites us to check in with ourselves on how our year is going. Summer also represents opportunity, for many of us, simply to step outside a bit more and to reconnect with nature and harvest the abundance of the moment. Whether we’ve entered vacation mode, engaging in beloved summertime traditions, or are simply trying to maximize long summer days and late sunsets, opportunities abound to notice what is happening within ourselves as we step outdoors. Welcome the contemplation and introspection that so often accompanies being with nature. While this is my personal perspective, it will undoubtedly also be communicated in the summer journaling workshops and group activities we will be hosting (mention of this topic now is to make me accountable regarding my intention to write more on this topic this summer!).

This seasonal shift encourages us to pause, reconnect with ourselves, and cultivate a deeper understanding of who we are and what truly matters to us. We can embrace this opportunity for a perspective shift. Taking these moments to pause can yield our own personalized guide for the season.

Your Journal as Your Accountability Partner

Have you ever considered your journal to be your accountability partner?

After all, your journal is your confirmation of where you are now, where you have been and where you would like to be going from this point forward. It is a road map of sorts, and it can be your guide and help you shape and construct what you envision.

From this perspective, your journal can help you initiate and track change better than any other accountability partner. If you are honest in what you are putting into it, in return it will reflect back to you what is really happening, and it can be your guide in staying true to yourself.

Essentially what is happening is this:

“I wrote this. This is my truth. I want to act in accordance with my truth. I will report back on this truthfully.”

From this framework, the goal of the journal entry is to document whatever you would like to accomplish. In doing this, you are making a commitment to yourself. It can actually help you take control of your action and overcome helplessness and encourage you to bring about the changes you desire.

When journaling this way, keep your journal in a reliable place. That way when you are having a thought that captures your attention, you can document it in your journal. The act of writing this down also invites you to further flesh this out and work through it, and clarify your thinking. Again, you are making a commitment to yourself by doing this.

After you have written this entry, read what you have written. Then make a plan to re-read this entry sometime very soon (perhaps later in the day, perhaps tomorrow or at the end of the week, as appropriate) to evaluate your progress toward your goal.

When you are checking in on this, here are some questions to guide you:

What are you noticing in terms of how you are working toward your goals?

What is going well, and what is not?

Notice your tendencies and other observations, and take notes on this- in your next journal entry.

This kind of objective awareness, honesty, and the fact that you are creating a written record of what is working as well as what is holding you back is essentially an accountability partner like no other. You are accountable to YOU.

Envisioning your new year

A new year begets reflection.

Before the sun had set on this first day of the year, I created this post in my head (envisioning, while also being inspired by my surroundings, seen here).

Part of the reflective process in turning the page to the next chapter inherently includes taking stock of where we have been. To provide context for where we want to go, what we want to accomplish and who we want to be, it is important to examine what is driving us as we envision this new year.

Using this year-end check-in as a guide helped me reflect on what has brought me here most immediately as well as shape and refine what I want to create. It also helped me dig deeper into helping more clearly delineate what I would need to do to make that happen.

We may already know what we want to make happen in this new year, but digging deeper at the outset can actually help you achieve it. Here are some reflective prompts to ask yourself or journal about to help you do just that:

First, what would you like to create or make happen in this new year?

Now, here is what it is needed to better understand how you can realistically make this happen for yourself:

What is your motivation for this? Why is this meaningful for you? 

How would you outline the key components and process?

What are the specific actions you need to do?

How can you best support yourself in making this happen?

When would it be meaningful for you to check in with yourself on your progress toward your goals? What would success look like at these check points?

If you are not on track, what would you plan to do to course-correct?

Now pin these questions for yourself and make a plan to check back in with yourself! Good luck, and happy new year!

Your year-end check-in

By the end of this post, I think you’ll agree. Not only are you another year older, but certainly a year wiser.

As this year comes to a close, I’m going to do what I encourage of others. Following the process I’ve outlined some time ago, I’m going to take a separate piece of paper and jot down my answers to these questions:

How has this year aligned with how you had envisioned the year at the outset of the year? I’ve learned that both the process of journaling about your vision for the year to come and then subsequently reviewing that journal entry can be enlightening (and entertaining).

How has this year been different for you from others? You can start with the obvious for you, but then begin to scratch a little beneath the surface. Take the time to think through and respond.

Another question to reflect upon as the year comes to a close: What are some things that you have achieved, learned, accomplished, realized, or progressed upon in the past year? Which of your goals have been realized?

Here is the question that we typically ask ourselves this time of year: What are some things that you would like to change in the new year? Why is this important for you? And how can you realistically make this happen for yourself? What are some steps you can take?

What are some things that you would like to carry forth into the new year? Any new practices, routines, hobbies, priorities that have emerged during this time that have become important or useful to you?

Happy journaling, reflecting, and finding clarity in how you want to create your new year. I’ll see you there!

Tips and tools to organize and prepare for what is on your horizon

This post focuses on concrete tips and tools to help you feel more organized, confident, and in-the-moment in THIS moment.

Let’s spend a moment reflecting on what we are collectively going through right now, and also what you are going through personally. Inequities and discrimination on a societal level and perhaps also a personal level. Uncertainty about what lies ahead on so many levels.

What are some of the big things for you right now?

How are you doing with all of this?

Of course, many right now are going back to “school”, though there is no certainty about exactly what that means this year. We’ve also been reflecting on what going back to school means and how that feels right now.

We’ve been talking to students about what this feels like for them. In fact, we’ve taken to Zoom to meet with students and talk to them directly about how things are feeling for them and how journaling can help guide them through the feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty. We’ve enjoyed this so much and we would love to continue this throughout the school year!

I’ll briefly highlight two workshops that we ran this summer, one with middle school-aged girls taking part in an online leadership-focused camp and one with undergraduates at Cornell University illustrating how impactful sharing an hour with a group of young people on top-of-mind topics can be.

Journaling Workshops for Youth

What we’ve seen is that, even while on a Zoom call, taking the time to reflect on directed prompts makes a notable difference in terms of self-awareness and achieving clarity. Creating and running these workshops has been a huge positive for us this summer. We (intern Nicholas and myself) felt satisfied that we could provide concrete tools, and these tools and discussions were appreciated.

So much so that we hope to do this again soon.

If your organization or group, whether for adults or youth, is interested in a journaling workshop customized to your needs and interests, please reach out directly.

Organizational tools, masks, and swag

Another experience we have had this summer that has felt positive:

time at home = time to create.

Yes, that has meant some journaling and writing, and several passion projects are still works-in-progress. We’ve dabbled into other types of creating as well. While we anticipate that there will be more creating to come, for now we proudly introduce digital art… for your journals (and for yourselves!). We have created tools for organization and for flair. Our stickers are accessories for your journals! Follow WRGJournaling on Redbubble to see what else will be coming soon!

For example, we’ve just designed and released some new products to support the transition to “back-to-school” (wherever school is). These include organizational products and just-for-fun swag, such as canvas pencil bags, blank notebooks, masks, and stickers for laptops, notebooks, etc.

We’re especially excited about our “pencil & notebook” pattern (created by our graphic design junior intern). This pattern has inspired a range of products perfect for all the students (and journalers) in your life. Regardless of where school is happening this year, you'll be organized! The products below are available our new Redbubble store (you can also search for WRGJournaling, and you can also “follow” us there and “like” what you like).

All of this started because of an idea to create stickers, and to write about this story is tangential. So we’ll save this for our next blog post, coming soon!

If what you’ve read about here compels you to want to learn more or to share this post with others…. you know what to do- be in the moment and reach out!

Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder,

Writereflectgrow.com

The many benefits of journaling when you are going through something big

“There are uses to adversity, and they don’t reveal themselves until tested. Whether it’s serious illness, financial hardship, or the simple constraint of parents who speak limited English, difficulty can tap unexpected strengths.”

-U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor

We all go through tough times or face challenging situations. In fact, we are all going through something “big” right now, the uncertainties of weathering a global pandemic and the associated implications and emotions.

Whatever it is that you face, the following statement is true: Journaling can guide you along this journey.

In fact, journaling can be one of the most useful tools to help you get through or help process something big that you’re going through. As a practicing psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of guiding people as they navigate many big challenges that they face. Some people note how they have relied on journaling to help guide them during this time, and we reflect on what they’ve gained from that experience. For those who aren’t already journaling, I encourage the practice of journaling help them continue to understand where they would like to go and how to get there, or to help them grow or feel better.

What are some of the benefits of journaling when you’re facing something big?

Benefits of journaling when you are going through something BIG:

• Journaling offers a safe place for emotional release, providing a space to  “get it out.”

• Journaling can help us get organized. It can help us plan and figure things out so that we can better make decisions for ourselves.

• Journaling lends itself to reflection, self-awareness and improved understanding of ourselves and making sense of patterns.

• Journaling results in a record- a record of our thoughts or our feelings or our experiences. We can then pull the wisdom from creating this record and apply it to anything in our lives or well-being.

All of these benefits are seen clearly when journaling is used to help guide someone through the journey of going through something big.

To illustrate:

The example I’ll highlight in this post is the impact of journaling while going through cancer. A large part of my private practice focuses in oncology. I help people adjust to and process how cancer has impacted their lives. A year ago, I created a workshop series for those who had been diagnosed with cancer to learn how to cultivate (or reconnect) with this practice, through learning skills and building community. The workshops have been a huge success and have been meaningful for both the participants and myself, and I have thought a lot about the lessons learned from participating in this series. Furthermore, because of these workshops, I have built upon the program materials I had created for the workshop and have published a journal for those who are at any point on the cancer journey, as patients, survivors, or caregivers. And if you’re interested in hearing more, I’ve explored this topic on a radio program, describing the role that journaling can play in one’s cancer journey.

I may not even have needed to write this blog post to convince you, but hopefully this has helped you see the tremendous value in journaling when you are going through something big!

If you are curious about the tools you see me holding in the photo below, here’s how you can obtain a copy of these just-published resources!

Reflections: A Journal Companion for the Cancer Journey

Self-Reflections: A Journal for Exploration and Growth

Happy journaling to all!

-Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write. Reflect. Grow

And author of what I am holding!

What happens when we pay attention to what we are grateful for

Gratitude is a concept that is fully worthy of its current buzzword status.

So why is everyone talking about gratitude right now? We’ll explore this question, and then we’ll help you see for yourself by guiding you through a simple exercise that you can use right now.

Gratitude is the process of shifting our gaze and noticing the things and people and sentiments in our lives that we appreciate. As we approach Thanksgiving, a holiday rooted in noticing the things and people and sentiments that we are thankful for, let’s pause for a moment to consider what it means for us to be grateful. I invite you to reflect on this now. How does being grateful make you feel? For me, it feels uplifting and fantastic.

What can expressing gratitude do for us?

I often speak of the attentional and intentional shift that happens within us when we shift our focus to noticing and expressing what we are grateful for. It may be cold and dreary outside, but what happens when you focus on the warmth that you feel from the comfort of the indoors, or the cozy jacket that you wear and warm beverage you sip as you approach the dreary weather? Or that while today may be dreary, you were able to enjoy yesterday’s sunshine? There are so many ways you can go with this one example, but the idea is that when you shift your focus, a shift happens inside of you. A growing body of research supports this as well, which we explore in a separate post.

According to the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley, gratitude is motivational. It can drive us to make positive change in our lives and the lives of others because it elicits feelings of:

• connection: When we express gratitude, this tends to increase our connection to others, which has a positive effect on our sense of competence and also feeling like we are supported as we strive toward our goals.

• inspiration: Expressing gratitude is uplifting, which can fuel subsequent positive and prosocial behaviors and goals.

• humility: When we express gratitude, we acknowledge the role of other people or other things that are helpful to us; we learn that we are not solely responsible for our success or joy.

So now I ask you to reflect for a moment, on this question: ‘what has gratitude done for you?’

I recently spoke with a participant of a past gratitude journaling-focused workshop I had run. I wanted to share this conversation, as her experiences may resonate with others. She said, “The past few years I have made a point of noticing things that I feel grateful for in my everyday life, like when someone has been there for me, and things like that. This has been great, but I really didn’t think I needed to write it down.” Therefore, she had never taken that extra time to write it down.

While completing a written gratitude journaling exercise in this workshop, however, she noticed that it felt even more nourishing to take the time to write these things down. She decided to continue this practice of writing things down at home. She ended up with an ongoing record of her experiences and reflections. And she could always go back and reflect on where she was then and use it to guide her in the present. Our conversation about gratitude happened two months after the workshop. She said, “it’s kind of been life-changing for me to write this down.”

Taking the time to observe and reflect has led to some meaningful learning and personal growth. The best part is that this practice takes minimal time, and can easily become part of a routine. Many people choose to start each day reflecting on something positive in their lives; many people choose this practice at the end of the day, reflecting on the day. Whatever and whenever you decide to do this practice, it is an investment in yourself and represents time well spent.

I invite you try this simple exercise right now. Take a moment right now and take out a piece of paper, your journal, an electronic note app on your phone, or whatever method of recording this exercise that works for you. Respond to and complete the following exercise:

Three things that I am feeling grateful about right now are: 

1)

2) 

3)

Now that you have completed the exercise, I’d like for you to reflect on what you just did. How was this exercise for you? How was it to identify these three things? What has stood out for you from completing this exercise?

I, too, will now list three things that I am grateful for right now.

1) I am grateful that you have decided to open yourself up to this exercise and to the practice of gratitude. Regardless of whether you’ve already been intentionally practicing gratitude for a while or whether this blog post has inspired a something new for you, I’m grateful that you are here. Your openness to the practice will help lead you on your way.

2) I am grateful that I decided to write this post. While I can’t say enough about this topic, I am grateful that I have cleared the time and the space to get some of it out here in this post.

3) I am grateful for the love and support I feel around me.

And I would be so grateful if you would share this blog post with a friend. If you would like a PDF of this exercise emailed to you, click here. If you are comfortable doing so, I would also love to hear about how this exercise was for you today. Is gratitude journaling currently a regular practice for you? If not, might it become one?

- Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write.Reflect.Grow.

Reflecting on the need for self-care in caregivers

Though my work as a clinical psychologist, I often have the privilege of supporting family caregivers as they are on their caregiving journey. One of the things that often comes up in our work together, whether in therapy or though discussion in a caregiving group, is reflecting on how the caregiving process has affected them, the role it has had on their relationships and on their identity, and their need for ongoing self-care.

The need for self care in caregivers can not be understated. Sometimes the challenge many caregivers face is recognizing that it is OK to make the need for self-care a priority, and that it is healthy to make this need a priority. I have elaborated on this topic elsewhere, and I’ll share what I have written and shared in radio interviews should these suggestions be useful.

Acknowledging that these needs ARE important, and taking action on those needs can make a significant difference in the lives of the caregiver which ultimately do impact how they are giving care. Understanding the impact of tough emotions, including guilt. For example, guilt around doing something for yourself that may seem frivolous or take you away from where you feel you are needed. Guilt can keep you feeling stuck and result in hindering how you take care of yourself. So it is important to notice your emotions related to caregiving and the impact that they may be having on so many other things.

I would encourage caregivers to ask themselves these questions, and take the time to answer them. reflect on your answers, perhaps by journaling about them. Consider these questions:

What does self-care look like to me right now?

How can I honor myself and my needs today?

Finally, I invite all who are interested in further reflection and support to take some time for yourself to reflect. For caregivers local to Rye, NY, I will be running a caregiver self-care program on Friday, December 13th at 11am with a warm community of caregivers, and for those in Fairfield County, CT, I will lead a similar program on Wednesday December 18th.

For all caregivers, regardless of where you are, if you are interested, I invite you to listen to these three guided reflections for caregivers and caregiver stress that I have created for the app, Simple Habit.

However you engage in self-care that honors you, may you enjoy and appreciate doing so! Whether it’s now, during National Family Caregiver’s Month (the month we are currently in), or whenever you need.

Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write. Reflect. Grow.

www.writereflectgrow.com

Lessons learned from a journaling workshop

One way to navigate adventures and challenges is to record experiences, emotions, and reflections in a journal. 

In my clinical practice, many of my clients bring some insights from journaling into therapy, or they use journals to continue the work that they have started in therapy. The value of journaling as a therapeutic tool can not be overstated.

Many others, I’ve noticed, do not journal, but are curious about journaling. They want to understand what journaling really is, what it can do for them, and how to do it. This is exactly why I have created journaling workshops.

Spoiler: the workshops are a success.

Read on to hear what workshop attendees say about their experiences. I’m sharing what some workshop attendees have shared about participating in an evidence-based workshop series I’ve developed for individuals diagnosed with cancer. I have now run this three-part workshop series with three cohorts since March, 2019, at a community-based oncology setting.

The workshop, complete with exercises and homework, focuses on: 

• Emotional and physical health benefits of journaling

• Cultivating a journaling habits

• Identifying barriers and motivators for journaling to help sustain a journaling practice

My purpose in creating this workshop was to help individuals diagnosed with cancer process the emotional experience of cancer, record personal journeys, and connect with others. My objectives have been realized and expectations have been exceeded.

In their words, they will described some lessons learned in response to a few open-ended questions:

Were your goals met? How were they met or not met?

“My goal was to establish a regular journaling habit. I’m so busy that I put journaling off, but I do enjoy it and this class has helped.”

“My goals were met by using the tools and resources provided to ease my anxiety”

“My goal was to get started with journaling. I tend to keep my thoughts inside and want to leave some notes or thoughts for my family. I had a slow start but I’m getting there.”

“My goal was to try to write a journal about my feelings. I tried hard but I really need to work harder on this.”

“Journal prompts and gratitude focus allows for easy-to-recollect subject matter.”

“My goals were met by the content of the workshop”

“I feel that my goals were met. My confidence in my writing has grown.”

“My goals were exceeded. It was a great experience and I have new tools and processes to help me in the days ahead.”

“I gained insights about where I want to go and how I might accomplish that.”

“I wanted to learn the process of keeping a journal. Yes, goals were met and Dr. Amsellem did an excellent job waking and talking and listening to us throughout the process.”

The next question that attendees had responded to that I want to highlight is related to the unexpected benefits that they received from participation. Here is what they said, in their own words:

Were there unexpected benefits from attending the workshop?

“Sharing experiences and realizing that we all have our struggles.”

“To meet the people and hear some of their stories.”

“Just recognizing the effort it takes to ‘show up’.”

“I drew a positive attitude and emotions from others.”

“What came out of personal reflection, the creative process, and group interaction”

“That I actually want to journal. I was a bit apprehensive about that!”

“The support from the group” 

“I got to deal with some issues that surprised me and gained some insights on what really can work for me.”

“Learning what other cancer patients are currently dealing with and how they approach each day with a positive mindset.”

As suggested here, workshop outcomes are overwhelmingly positive. Most notably, every participant has completed the workshop with a greater sense of community and shared experience, and this happened because they had opened themselves up to the experience of trying something new.

I have recently shared a more thorough account of findings with oncology professionals and healers at an international conference. I have plans to continue this workshop in its current setting and to share it with an even larger audience in the future. Please do stay tuned! Also, I invite you to subscribe for updates so you’ll be in-the-know!

Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write.Reflect.Grow.