Breaking through excuses that keep us from taking action

One thing I have learned from my years as a psychologist (and as a human) is that best of intentions do not always translate into action. In fact, this was an unexpected finding from my dissertation research. I had studied the factors that were associated with following through with a health-related goal, and participants’ stated intention to complete that goal was not one of them.

So how do we actually make things happen?

This is one of my favorite topics to explore. I’ve written a book on this topic that addresses how to make a project or big idea happen and break through barriers. The idea for the book arose from years of experiences and observations as a practicing psychologist and behavioral scientist.

Many things can hold us back from accomplishing our goals. Gaining insight into what is holding each of us back is key to breaking through these barriers. Barriers essentially serve as excuses to keep us from taking action. In essence, though oversimplified, barriers are external or internal. Here’s a primer to begin to recognize our own barriers.

The dog ate my homework

Perhaps the easiest barriers to identify are those that we can blame not on ourselves, the external barriers: Our jobs or hectic lifestyles do not afford us the luxury of time to work on our goals. Someone or something stood in our way. We don’t have the resources, or we are waiting on someone else to get back to us.

A classic excuse for external barriers standing in our way is the excuse ‘the dog ate my homework.’ In fact, one purchaser of The Big Idea Journal workbook recently told me that she has not done what she had hoped to with this book yet because just after the book arrived, her dog had, well, eaten it. True story. No doubt this was a barrier (though would not have been had she used the audiobook version!).

I’m standing in my own way

The barriers that reside within us that get in our way can be powerful and often are harder to identify. Whether these internal barriers arise from our own fears and insecurities, our habitual patterns of giving up or utilizing ineffective strategies, our challenges with staying focused, or our lack of knowledge about how to accomplish our goals, we often self-sabotage without even realizing it.

All of these barriers, whether internal or external, can paralyze us into inaction. It can be both convenient and compelling to use these as excuses as to why we can’t do something. That said, we can break through these excuses. Here are some essential strategies for breaking through:

Get clear on our vision and purpose:

This step is critical, and is a sound investment of time. It may seem unnecessary to clarify your goals and why you are pursing them when you are feeling motivated. But once you get going (or certainly even before you get going), you encounter barriers. Understanding your ‘why’ can help sustain your commitment to your journey. There are may valuable questions that you can ask yourself to help achieve clarity. I often run workshops on this topic, in person locally as well as online.

Build awareness of your own barriers:

Once we recognize what holds us back, we are in a much better place to tackle our barriers. Building awareness may be challenging. Building awareness may seem like a burden, and it may feel uncomfortable. But by paying attention to these barriers, you can better identify them in the moment- which is exactly when you can intentionally redirect your course.

I recommend asking yourself pointed questions and opening yourself up to exploring these barriers. For example, try asking: “what is holding you back right now?” Then journal about it.

A major focus of one chapter of The Big Idea Journal workbook explores barriers and the learning that can result.

Make yourself accountable:

Another useful way to break through excuses is to check in on your goals and your progress, whether with yourself (such as using a guided journal) or with someone else (such as a co-worker, friend, mentor, or coach).

One recent coaching client reflected on the value of having this support:

“Having the deadline of talking to a real live person who I had to report back to on what I had accomplished was a real motivator in getting things on my to-do list done.”

As a follow up, this client had broken through barriers and taken action.

If you’d like guidance on breaking through your excuses, we invite you to check out our growing library of resources, including Big Idea coaching.

I wrote this blog post help you along your path to identifying and breaking through your own excuses. I would love to hear how this resonates with you and how this may have helped YOU break through!

- Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write. Reflect. Grow.

The Big Idea Journal as a Reflection Tool

Happy fall! 

 Ready or not, the seasons are changing before our eyes and our other senses. To me, fall’s changing colors and dropping leaves are always fuel for reflection.

 As The Big Idea Journal: A Tool for Facilitating Change and Bringing your Idea to Life enters its second season of life (it was a summer baby), I’m beginning the journey of reflecting on how I have used my first (published) copy of The Big Idea Journal. Here is some of what I have noticed, so far:

 I usually seem to have mine nearby.  

I often keep my working copy of The Big Idea Journal within reach. I may keep it in my car, handbag, or laptop case; this way it is there for me when the inspiration strikes. Having it nearby represents the promise of clarity or action that will arise, once I open it. And I do write in it when I have decent-sized chunks of time for reflection, such as sitting on the train or in a waiting room. 

That said, I’ve had times where I am wishing I had it when I had a thought to jot down, but it wasn’t nearby. When this happens, I’ve learned you can always make a note elsewhere and transfer it to where it is most useful later.

Using it makes a difference.

 I’ve had some weeks where I have cleared the time and space for working through things in The Big Idea Journal and I use it regularly. During these times, I can really go in depth, which has always led me to new insights and clarity. These are truly the weeks of focus, productivity, and action. This feels fantastic.

These are the weeks I may later look back on longingly if I am not having that type of week. Currently my copy of The Big Idea Journal is sitting idly and collecting dust (though is still nearby). I have not used it the past two weeks because I feel like I do not have time. Ironically, I know deep inside that guided reflection may be what could be really useful right now. 

I think this last reflection may propel some action after I finish this post. 

There are things in this process that are important to make time for.

Regarding my own big ideas, I recognize I often put off everything having to do with Chapter 5 of this workbook (“Sharing Your Idea with the World”). We all have barriers. It’s important that we understand what they are. When we can recognize and address our barriers, and work to overcome them, this becomes a measure of success. For me, what I have learned is that it is important to make a little more time for/ put in a little more effort into sharing what I’ve been doing! Every time that I have this kind of conversation with others, it is rewarding. This is not an earth-shattering reflection, but it is a very important one for me.

My experiences are not entirely unique.

I offer coaching for those who would like tailored guidance and accountability during the process of working through their big idea. In each coaching session, one thing I’ve noticed is that my experiences are not unique. Obviously, others have their roadblocks in making things happen. The most universal roadblock we have all encountered is the roadblock of not carving out time for using The Big Idea Journal. Coaching has helped these clients break through this omnipresent barrier. The response after carving out dedicated time for reflection, for both my clients and myself, has been our awareness of feeling increased focus and achievement. It feels empowering. 

What have you noticed when using yours? 

I genuinely want to know. Please do share!  And if you are only a vicarious The Big Idea Journal user and want to create your own experiences for yourself, this is how you can purchase your own copy. 

The tool I used to publish my first book... was my first book

The reason The Big Idea Journal: A Tool for Facilitating Change and Bringing your Idea to Life exists in physical form is actually because I used The Big Idea Journal to publish it. More specifically, I used the organizational tools, framework, and reflective prompts of The Big Idea Journal to guide me to focus my efforts and to identify what I needed to do to complete and publish my first workbook.

I’ll explain.

This past spring, I had taken a semester-long community leadership program. The course required a capstone project, something that was meaningful to us to help others in the community.

I decided I was going to help people access skills and tools to enable their success. As a clinical psychologist, I wanted to apply what I knew that could help others identify and overcome barriers, set and achieve goals, and create behavior change.

Soon I had created an early draft of The Big Idea Journal to pilot test on a sample of some of my classmates. This draft contained the overview, theme, structure and contained reflective prompts. I wanted to see how individuals with ideas (the ideal user) would respond to this framework and how effectively it had guided them through their process. I learned a lot through this experience of pilot testing my tool, but the biggest lessons came when I pilot-tested The Big Idea Journal on myself.

Though my vision had been to eventually publish The Big Idea Journal, I actually had no roadmap of how I was going to make that happen. I realize the irony in this, looking back now. But I had been taking an evening class after a full workday, and my primary focus was on meeting the program’s project criteria and designing a useful and research-informed product.

Early feedback from my pilot testers was encouraging. One day, about one month before the program graduation, the program coordinator asked if I would be interested in printing this early version of The Big Idea Journal as a graduation gift for my cohort. I thought about it and then replied that I loved the idea, but thought that their gift should really be the full version of the book. This version would incorporate user feedback, have a proper introduction, and would be edited and reworked into the format I had envisioned. I then decided that I would self-publish The Big Idea Journal in time for graduation. I snapped into action. I grabbed a blank draft version of the tool I had pilot tested and put it to action with my own idea, starting at the beginning.

Once I started writing in The Big Idea Journal, the ideas flowed. I found clarity in my vision and direction in my actions. I had a clear purpose and a clear plan. It was eye-opening and energizing. It was the springboard that I needed to do what I needed to do to self-publish a workbook in just over one month that would be ready for the world.

I got to work. I used the timeline I created with the Big Idea Journal and it guided my actions. I wrote copy, edited, utilized my own network for support when needed, neglected some other projects, no doubt, but I remained focused on what I needed to do. And then…. I made it happen! (yes, I had already given the spoiler in the title of the blog post).

As a behavioral scientist, I loved every bit of experimenting on myself. See for yourself what it can do for you!