Tips and tools to organize and prepare for what is on your horizon

This post focuses on concrete tips and tools to help you feel more organized, confident, and in-the-moment in THIS moment.

Let’s spend a moment reflecting on what we are collectively going through right now, and also what you are going through personally. Inequities and discrimination on a societal level and perhaps also a personal level. Uncertainty about what lies ahead on so many levels.

What are some of the big things for you right now?

How are you doing with all of this?

Of course, many right now are going back to “school”, though there is no certainty about exactly what that means this year. We’ve also been reflecting on what going back to school means and how that feels right now.

We’ve been talking to students about what this feels like for them. In fact, we’ve taken to Zoom to meet with students and talk to them directly about how things are feeling for them and how journaling can help guide them through the feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty. We’ve enjoyed this so much and we would love to continue this throughout the school year!

I’ll briefly highlight two workshops that we ran this summer, one with middle school-aged girls taking part in an online leadership-focused camp and one with undergraduates at Cornell University illustrating how impactful sharing an hour with a group of young people on top-of-mind topics can be.

Journaling Workshops for Youth

What we’ve seen is that, even while on a Zoom call, taking the time to reflect on directed prompts makes a notable difference in terms of self-awareness and achieving clarity. Creating and running these workshops has been a huge positive for us this summer. We (intern Nicholas and myself) felt satisfied that we could provide concrete tools, and these tools and discussions were appreciated.

So much so that we hope to do this again soon.

If your organization or group, whether for adults or youth, is interested in a journaling workshop customized to your needs and interests, please reach out directly.

Organizational tools, masks, and swag

Another experience we have had this summer that has felt positive:

time at home = time to create.

Yes, that has meant some journaling and writing, and several passion projects are still works-in-progress. We’ve dabbled into other types of creating as well. While we anticipate that there will be more creating to come, for now we proudly introduce digital art… for your journals (and for yourselves!). We have created tools for organization and for flair. Our stickers are accessories for your journals! Follow WRGJournaling on Redbubble to see what else will be coming soon!

For example, we’ve just designed and released some new products to support the transition to “back-to-school” (wherever school is). These include organizational products and just-for-fun swag, such as canvas pencil bags, blank notebooks, masks, and stickers for laptops, notebooks, etc.

We’re especially excited about our “pencil & notebook” pattern (created by our graphic design junior intern). This pattern has inspired a range of products perfect for all the students (and journalers) in your life. Regardless of where school is happening this year, you'll be organized! The products below are available our new Redbubble store (you can also search for WRGJournaling, and you can also “follow” us there and “like” what you like).

All of this started because of an idea to create stickers, and to write about this story is tangential. So we’ll save this for our next blog post, coming soon!

If what you’ve read about here compels you to want to learn more or to share this post with others…. you know what to do- be in the moment and reach out!

Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder,

Writereflectgrow.com

Reflecting on Patterns You Bring to Your Relationship

It’s (still) April, 2020, and we’re still living in a time where we’ve hit pause on so many things.

But living and interacting with our partners is very much still happening. And you may find yourself reflecting on some of the relationship dynamics you are experiencing right now. For example:

Exerpt from Reader’s Digest

Relationships are built upon the exchange of interactions, decisions, actions, and ideas between the two partners. These exchanges are also happening in the greater context of everything else happening all around them. Over time, these exchanges form or fall into a pattern.

The patterns may have roots in our own history; either the history that you and your partner has established, the history of what you and your partner brings to your relationship, or possibly all of the above! Here are some reasons why it is important to notice patterns.

The Importance of Patterns

• Patterns can repeat themselves from relationship to relationship without our awareness. 

• Shifting our focus to noticing these patterns will help us to recognize when they are repeating themselves, and also what could be triggering the patterns.

• This then allows us the opportunity to make choices in the moment. We can choose to do something different, if the pattern is not working for us, or we can keep doing what IS working for us. We can mindfully choose to react in a way that is healthy for our relationships. 

What happens when we take the time to reflect on what WE bring to our relationship with our partners?

Many positives can result from making the effort to reflect on what we are contributing to our own relationship dynamics. In short, reflection can strengthen your relationship. You may have intuitively known this, which was what drove you to read this post.

If you’re looking for a place to start, I’ll gladly guide you. Here are some questions that might resonate with you. I invite you to jot down your responses, as this may lead to some new insights.

Historically, what dynamics have repeated themselves in your relationships, perhaps from partner to partner?

What in your relationship is working for you right now? What can you do to help ensure that this will continue into the future?

What in your relationship is not working for you right now? What could you do differently that could possibly improve the outcome? I invite you to brainstorm all different kinds of things you can do, even if you don’t think they’ll get you far. Here, it’s tempting to dismiss ideas that you think won’t work for you without really thinking about them. Opening up by brainstorming may allow you to see things that you hadn’t seen before or see things from a new perspective.

What has it been like for you to think about these questions?

If you appreciate this opportunity to reflect, I invite you to join me in an online workshop that I created designed to help guide you in strengthening your relationships through reflecting on relationship patterns, entitled, “An Inside-out Approach to Strengthening Your Romantic Relationship”. This is a free event happening live on May 6th at 3pm EST, and you can register for this event here. Even if you do not participate in the live event, you will be able to participate at a later time as long as you register by using the link. I’ll be there and I’d love to see you and/ or your partner here too! Drop a line if you plan to attend!

Whether or not you join me in this workshop, I hope that you’re putting this reflection to good use, as noticing, reflecting, and critically examining these patterns may be efforts that pay off in large ways in your relationship. See for yourself!

Best,

Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write.Reflect.Grow

What happens when we pay attention to what we are grateful for

Gratitude is a concept that is fully worthy of its current buzzword status.

So why is everyone talking about gratitude right now? We’ll explore this question, and then we’ll help you see for yourself by guiding you through a simple exercise that you can use right now.

Gratitude is the process of shifting our gaze and noticing the things and people and sentiments in our lives that we appreciate. As we approach Thanksgiving, a holiday rooted in noticing the things and people and sentiments that we are thankful for, let’s pause for a moment to consider what it means for us to be grateful. I invite you to reflect on this now. How does being grateful make you feel? For me, it feels uplifting and fantastic.

What can expressing gratitude do for us?

I often speak of the attentional and intentional shift that happens within us when we shift our focus to noticing and expressing what we are grateful for. It may be cold and dreary outside, but what happens when you focus on the warmth that you feel from the comfort of the indoors, or the cozy jacket that you wear and warm beverage you sip as you approach the dreary weather? Or that while today may be dreary, you were able to enjoy yesterday’s sunshine? There are so many ways you can go with this one example, but the idea is that when you shift your focus, a shift happens inside of you. A growing body of research supports this as well, which we explore in a separate post.

According to the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley, gratitude is motivational. It can drive us to make positive change in our lives and the lives of others because it elicits feelings of:

• connection: When we express gratitude, this tends to increase our connection to others, which has a positive effect on our sense of competence and also feeling like we are supported as we strive toward our goals.

• inspiration: Expressing gratitude is uplifting, which can fuel subsequent positive and prosocial behaviors and goals.

• humility: When we express gratitude, we acknowledge the role of other people or other things that are helpful to us; we learn that we are not solely responsible for our success or joy.

So now I ask you to reflect for a moment, on this question: ‘what has gratitude done for you?’

I recently spoke with a participant of a past gratitude journaling-focused workshop I had run. I wanted to share this conversation, as her experiences may resonate with others. She said, “The past few years I have made a point of noticing things that I feel grateful for in my everyday life, like when someone has been there for me, and things like that. This has been great, but I really didn’t think I needed to write it down.” Therefore, she had never taken that extra time to write it down.

While completing a written gratitude journaling exercise in this workshop, however, she noticed that it felt even more nourishing to take the time to write these things down. She decided to continue this practice of writing things down at home. She ended up with an ongoing record of her experiences and reflections. And she could always go back and reflect on where she was then and use it to guide her in the present. Our conversation about gratitude happened two months after the workshop. She said, “it’s kind of been life-changing for me to write this down.”

Taking the time to observe and reflect has led to some meaningful learning and personal growth. The best part is that this practice takes minimal time, and can easily become part of a routine. Many people choose to start each day reflecting on something positive in their lives; many people choose this practice at the end of the day, reflecting on the day. Whatever and whenever you decide to do this practice, it is an investment in yourself and represents time well spent.

I invite you try this simple exercise right now. Take a moment right now and take out a piece of paper, your journal, an electronic note app on your phone, or whatever method of recording this exercise that works for you. Respond to and complete the following exercise:

Three things that I am feeling grateful about right now are: 

1)

2) 

3)

Now that you have completed the exercise, I’d like for you to reflect on what you just did. How was this exercise for you? How was it to identify these three things? What has stood out for you from completing this exercise?

I, too, will now list three things that I am grateful for right now.

1) I am grateful that you have decided to open yourself up to this exercise and to the practice of gratitude. Regardless of whether you’ve already been intentionally practicing gratitude for a while or whether this blog post has inspired a something new for you, I’m grateful that you are here. Your openness to the practice will help lead you on your way.

2) I am grateful that I decided to write this post. While I can’t say enough about this topic, I am grateful that I have cleared the time and the space to get some of it out here in this post.

3) I am grateful for the love and support I feel around me.

And I would be so grateful if you would share this blog post with a friend. If you would like a PDF of this exercise emailed to you, click here. If you are comfortable doing so, I would also love to hear about how this exercise was for you today. Is gratitude journaling currently a regular practice for you? If not, might it become one?

- Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write.Reflect.Grow.