Seasonally reflecting

For all the reasons this statement rings true for you: the transition into summer is one to hit pause on. Let’s now take a pause.

To me, this transition to summer feels like a call to look inward as we step out to enjoy and savor the season. Summer has this way of altering perspective naturally, as the speed of life shifts a bit.

A question relevant to this blog, and one to reflect on:

How can your journaling practice benefit from this change of pace? If you desire to shift focus in any way or to deepen your practice, now is a great moment to call attention to this and to record it in your journal.

Embrace what this seasonal shift represents to you- modifications in routine, a respite from the rush, changes in the cadence of your work, lounging poolside, or anything else relevant to your life in this season. This shift in pace offers an opportunity to step back and reflect on where you are, your current priorities (and how your actions reflect these priorities), and any adjustments you would like to make as you move into the future.

Seasonally speaking, summer represents a halfway point in the year, which naturally invites us to check in with ourselves on how our year is going. Summer also represents opportunity, for many of us, simply to step outside a bit more and to reconnect with nature and harvest the abundance of the moment. Whether we’ve entered vacation mode, engaging in beloved summertime traditions, or are simply trying to maximize long summer days and late sunsets, opportunities abound to notice what is happening within ourselves as we step outdoors. Welcome the contemplation and introspection that so often accompanies being with nature. While this is my personal perspective, it will undoubtedly also be communicated in the summer journaling workshops and group activities we will be hosting (mention of this topic now is to make me accountable regarding my intention to write more on this topic this summer!).

This seasonal shift encourages us to pause, reconnect with ourselves, and cultivate a deeper understanding of who we are and what truly matters to us. We can embrace this opportunity for a perspective shift. Taking these moments to pause can yield our own personalized guide for the season.

Your Journal as Your Accountability Partner

Have you ever considered your journal to be your accountability partner?

After all, your journal is your confirmation of where you are now, where you have been and where you would like to be going from this point forward. It is a road map of sorts, and it can be your guide and help you shape and construct what you envision.

From this perspective, your journal can help you initiate and track change better than any other accountability partner. If you are honest in what you are putting into it, in return it will reflect back to you what is really happening, and it can be your guide in staying true to yourself.

Essentially what is happening is this:

“I wrote this. This is my truth. I want to act in accordance with my truth. I will report back on this truthfully.”

From this framework, the goal of the journal entry is to document whatever you would like to accomplish. In doing this, you are making a commitment to yourself. It can actually help you take control of your action and overcome helplessness and encourage you to bring about the changes you desire.

When journaling this way, keep your journal in a reliable place. That way when you are having a thought that captures your attention, you can document it in your journal. The act of writing this down also invites you to further flesh this out and work through it, and clarify your thinking. Again, you are making a commitment to yourself by doing this.

After you have written this entry, read what you have written. Then make a plan to re-read this entry sometime very soon (perhaps later in the day, perhaps tomorrow or at the end of the week, as appropriate) to evaluate your progress toward your goal.

When you are checking in on this, here are some questions to guide you:

What are you noticing in terms of how you are working toward your goals?

What is going well, and what is not?

Notice your tendencies and other observations, and take notes on this- in your next journal entry.

This kind of objective awareness, honesty, and the fact that you are creating a written record of what is working as well as what is holding you back is essentially an accountability partner like no other. You are accountable to YOU.

Envisioning your new year

A new year begets reflection.

Before the sun had set on this first day of the year, I created this post in my head (envisioning, while also being inspired by my surroundings, seen here).

Part of the reflective process in turning the page to the next chapter inherently includes taking stock of where we have been. To provide context for where we want to go, what we want to accomplish and who we want to be, it is important to examine what is driving us as we envision this new year.

Using this year-end check-in as a guide helped me reflect on what has brought me here most immediately as well as shape and refine what I want to create. It also helped me dig deeper into helping more clearly delineate what I would need to do to make that happen.

We may already know what we want to make happen in this new year, but digging deeper at the outset can actually help you achieve it. Here are some reflective prompts to ask yourself or journal about to help you do just that:

First, what would you like to create or make happen in this new year?

Now, here is what it is needed to better understand how you can realistically make this happen for yourself:

What is your motivation for this? Why is this meaningful for you? 

How would you outline the key components and process?

What are the specific actions you need to do?

How can you best support yourself in making this happen?

When would it be meaningful for you to check in with yourself on your progress toward your goals? What would success look like at these check points?

If you are not on track, what would you plan to do to course-correct?

Now pin these questions for yourself and make a plan to check back in with yourself! Good luck, and happy new year!

Reflecting on This Season of Giving

The designation of this day as #GivingTuesday has inspired a new blog post on “Reflecting on Reflecting”, upending layers of current-year dust which has been accumulating on the blog.

Today my email inbox screams, “It’s Giving Tuesday.”

My learned response to such subject headings: Give, but give mindfully. Give meaningfully. Give based on my values. Give based on need. Give to support others or support causes which have touched those on my mind right now.

There are many causes that meet that criteria (see above: screaming email inbox).

Giving is high on my own list of values. Just looking over the topics on this blog, for example, I notice over one-quarter of blog posts have been partially or entirely about reflecting on giving, giving back, and taking actions for others, including Reflecting on the Season of Giving (from this time of year, two years ago) Reflecting on Doing Good, Writing Letters to Fight Social Isolation, and Reflecting and Taking Action.

This year in particular, I have decided that my approach to charitable donations, particularly on a day (and a season) that stresses giving, will be an approach guided by reflection, meaning, and critical thinking. I have added ‘critical thinking’ in my own decision-making guide because some of the causes I support more generally may currently not be fully in alignment with my own values and priorities.

This year I am asking myself the following questions:

1. Does this cause directly address a need that is a high priority to me (or those I care about) right now?

2. Will this donation be received with appreciation by the recipient, and/ or will my message of support for this cause be heard?

3. Looking back on this day/ season/ moment in time, will I feel like I have taken a meaningful action by this donation?

If the answer to these three questions is a resounding yes, I will be donating today or during this season.

Taking a few moments to record the questions I am asking myself right now has been useful for me, and perhaps can help others wade through their own inboxes and inform or inspire mindful decisions. Writing this has also helped make my decision concrete that from now through the holiday season, I am donating all proceeds of all journals to a cause that represents what the Write.Reflect.Grow community values, funding a journaling workshop for charity in the new year. More on this to come!

Reflecting on doing good

In our community and in our home, we set a challenge for ourselves to do good. Specifically our goal is to raise a large sum of money to support a cancer-focused charity that does work that directly impacts so many (details below). Here’s just a little of what have we learned so far (a summary version):

Giving feels good!

Whether it is giving time, money, outreach or a variety of other contributions, these efforts feel important, appreciated, and impactful. To illustrate, I’ve shared several notes our fundraising team lead received in response to our direct fundraising efforts. These notes, along with others we’ve received share sentiments about the important ways our efforts have touched others and also have the potential to make a significant difference to the world of many facing blood cancers.

Doing good begets doing good

The positive response to this work has certainly been encouraging and inspiring. The response from others and the feelings evoked from their responses have encouraged me to do more. It has motivated me to write this blog post and to think creatively about other ways I can help the team fundraise. One way I am doing so directly involves one journal I published in March 2020:

This journal directly ties into this theme of doing good. I wrote the journal for the purpose of benefiting those with cancer; Informed by many journaling workshops I had run, I wrote Reflections: A Journal Companion for those on the Cancer Journey to guide those on a cancer journey. But it was also published with the additional promise to directly share profits with cancer support organizations that directly address the emotional health needs of individuals affected by cancer.
I am proud to share that though March 11, 2022 I will be donating 100% of the sales of this journal ($18/ journal) to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to help support those impacted by blood cancers. All sales will be directly donated to support the Student of the Year team I am supporting as a team member. If you know someone who may benefit from this resource right now, please take a look or share this link.

You feel like you’re doing good on the inside

While outside feedback inspires and motivates, at the core of it, it’s what is happening on the inside that we’ll always carry with us into the future. It builds confidence that we can make a difference. It reminds us that our efforts matter. The gift of giving and doing good is one that stays with us. I look forward to seeing how these experiences (as well as taking the time to reflect on them) will lead to our continued growth.

Your year-end check-in

By the end of this post, I think you’ll agree. Not only are you another year older, but certainly a year wiser.

As this year comes to a close, I’m going to do what I encourage of others. Following the process I’ve outlined some time ago, I’m going to take a separate piece of paper and jot down my answers to these questions:

How has this year aligned with how you had envisioned the year at the outset of the year? I’ve learned that both the process of journaling about your vision for the year to come and then subsequently reviewing that journal entry can be enlightening (and entertaining).

How has this year been different for you from others? You can start with the obvious for you, but then begin to scratch a little beneath the surface. Take the time to think through and respond.

Another question to reflect upon as the year comes to a close: What are some things that you have achieved, learned, accomplished, realized, or progressed upon in the past year? Which of your goals have been realized?

Here is the question that we typically ask ourselves this time of year: What are some things that you would like to change in the new year? Why is this important for you? And how can you realistically make this happen for yourself? What are some steps you can take?

What are some things that you would like to carry forth into the new year? Any new practices, routines, hobbies, priorities that have emerged during this time that have become important or useful to you?

Happy journaling, reflecting, and finding clarity in how you want to create your new year. I’ll see you there!

Reflecting on the season of giving

It has been some time since we’ve published a post. A whole rotation around the sun, in fact. Here we are again in the season where the days are short and the clock of final days of the year is ticking away.

Perhaps it feels like a season of frenzy.

Perhaps it feels like a season of celebration.

As we approach the holidays, let us reflect on what the season of giving feels like for us.

Though through the frenzy, let us create and accept opportunities to unwind. Let’s remind ourselves to give ourselves the gift of calm, the gift of hitting pause, and the gift of stepping back.

Through the celebration let us give ourselves the gift of gratitude. Let us recognize who and what we are truly grateful for. Let us embrace all that we have accomplished, all that we have survived, and all of the good around us.

And through the season of giving, let us reflect on all that giving means for us. Through the gifts that we select for others, let us also remember to give ourselves what helps us feel nourished. Whether it comes in a pretty package or a simple holiday greeting, let us share what we can give. Whether we are surrounded by those we love this season or remain distanced, let us give from a place of genuineness and pleasure. Finally, however and whenever we see the need, may we give support to those who need it (which really is all of us).

What does the season of giving feel like for you this year?

For us, it will look like all of the above. And as we look to the year ahead, we have plans for continuing the season of giving. We plan on dedicating a lot of attention supporting charitable causes in months ahead. For example, as we lead into the new year, we will be donating all proceeds from the sales of our journals (including blank journals) to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And extending throughout the year, proceeds from the sale of Reflections: A Journal Companion for the Cancer Journey will be donated to organizations which provide cancer support services. Our hope is that by continuing this season of giving throughout the year, we promote the gift of reflection- the gift that keeps on giving.

The many benefits of journaling when you are going through something big

“There are uses to adversity, and they don’t reveal themselves until tested. Whether it’s serious illness, financial hardship, or the simple constraint of parents who speak limited English, difficulty can tap unexpected strengths.”

-U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor

We all go through tough times or face challenging situations. In fact, we are all going through something “big” right now, the uncertainties of weathering a global pandemic and the associated implications and emotions.

Whatever it is that you face, the following statement is true: Journaling can guide you along this journey.

In fact, journaling can be one of the most useful tools to help you get through or help process something big that you’re going through. As a practicing psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of guiding people as they navigate many big challenges that they face. Some people note how they have relied on journaling to help guide them during this time, and we reflect on what they’ve gained from that experience. For those who aren’t already journaling, I encourage the practice of journaling help them continue to understand where they would like to go and how to get there, or to help them grow or feel better.

What are some of the benefits of journaling when you’re facing something big?

Benefits of journaling when you are going through something BIG:

• Journaling offers a safe place for emotional release, providing a space to  “get it out.”

• Journaling can help us get organized. It can help us plan and figure things out so that we can better make decisions for ourselves.

• Journaling lends itself to reflection, self-awareness and improved understanding of ourselves and making sense of patterns.

• Journaling results in a record- a record of our thoughts or our feelings or our experiences. We can then pull the wisdom from creating this record and apply it to anything in our lives or well-being.

All of these benefits are seen clearly when journaling is used to help guide someone through the journey of going through something big.

To illustrate:

The example I’ll highlight in this post is the impact of journaling while going through cancer. A large part of my private practice focuses in oncology. I help people adjust to and process how cancer has impacted their lives. A year ago, I created a workshop series for those who had been diagnosed with cancer to learn how to cultivate (or reconnect) with this practice, through learning skills and building community. The workshops have been a huge success and have been meaningful for both the participants and myself, and I have thought a lot about the lessons learned from participating in this series. Furthermore, because of these workshops, I have built upon the program materials I had created for the workshop and have published a journal for those who are at any point on the cancer journey, as patients, survivors, or caregivers. And if you’re interested in hearing more, I’ve explored this topic on a radio program, describing the role that journaling can play in one’s cancer journey.

I may not even have needed to write this blog post to convince you, but hopefully this has helped you see the tremendous value in journaling when you are going through something big!

If you are curious about the tools you see me holding in the photo below, here’s how you can obtain a copy of these just-published resources!

Reflections: A Journal Companion for the Cancer Journey

Self-Reflections: A Journal for Exploration and Growth

Happy journaling to all!

-Marni Amsellem, Ph.D.

Founder, Write. Reflect. Grow

And author of what I am holding!